Last night was kind of bad. Edward and I had a fight. I have been avoiding him for some reason or another.......I guess I needed some space. None the Less I told him about how I was feeling and we seem to be cool again. I have been going through a lot lately, so I took a drive. Not that it did much good. It seemed like every song that came on the radio, was about some person in love and anguish. Why do we hurt ourselves like this??
I had a strange dream and in that dream I let everyone down. I feel like I have been letting myself down......I also dreamed about standing in a huge line at Blockbuster Video and when I finally got to the desk, my high-school homeroom teacher, Mrs. Coleman was there and she refused to let me rent vids, because I didn't have my ID. The worse part was I had some really good releases. That's fucked I know. I told her that she knew who I was and she could trust me, but she was Like" No Id, Not Videos" I think I almost ending up crying when I had to hand the videos back over. Very queer. Who know's what it means anyway.
I am being such a slob today. I have on a hot pink nightgown with a polyester shirt and the blanket off of my bed around my lap. I am so freaking cold. My dog, pepper has taken up residence on the tails of my blanket and I don't have the heart to snatch it away...so I continue to shiver. After I finish sitting on my ass and typing, I may go out and have some kind of enjoyment..but for right now, I sit and type.
I lied the other day when I said that I was preoccupied with sex. I think about it a lot but I haven't been horny for weeks...I think it has something to do with my period, which is always irregular. Everytime, I do have a period, which is far and inbetween a regular cycle...I get horny as hell right before and after. The Weirdest thing is, when i'm not having sex.....my periods get further and further apart. But when I fuck like a goddamn rabbit, they get more and more regular. I am so fucked up, I swear. The Last period I had was at the end of January, so that means..on my time table..my period isn't due until the begining of April. Last Year, when I went to The Gyn about my period problems he said my periods will get regular when I start having children. So I said, So your telling me to got out and get knocked up and everything will be perfectly fine and he laughed and said...basically. So I was like you are forgetting one major point, and he was like..."What is that Sophia?" So I said, "I can't get pregnant until I actually have a Period"...and he laughed again and said "Well it's not like you are going to have children now...so worry about that part later" I never thought I would ever need a man, to help me with my period troubles....but what the Hell..times are changing. I actually pray to get my period sometimes.....it makes me feel like I'm normal. Enough about periods...I am probably making you guys sick or doubling over with laughter.
Hmmmm..my ass is starting to hurt, so I guess it's time to get up and get out...more later I promise :-)